Why it’s nice to be a dog…
No one expects you to take a bath every day.
Your friends never expect you to pay for lunch, dinner, or anything else for that matter.
When it’s raining, you can lie around the house all day and never worry about being fired.
If it itches, you can reach it.
And, no matter what itches, no one is offended if you scratch it in
public.
You can wear a fur coat and no one thinks you’re insensitive.
If you grow hair in weird places, no one notices.
You never get in trouble for putting your head in a stranger’s lap
Having big feet is considered an asset.
If you gain weight, it’s someone else’s fault.
No one tells you to wipe your nose because it’s wet.
No matter where you live, you own the place.
Your mate never complains because you whine.
Puppy love can last.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Some reasons why a modem is better than a woman
1. A modem doesn't ask for a commitment if you use it. Getting a modem to obey you is as simple as typing "AT".
2. When you're done using your modem, you can roll over and go to sleep without feeling guilty.
3. A modem won't say a word if you come home late.
4. A modem can't collect alimony if you decide to dump it.
5. A modem will always wait patiently by the phone.
6. You can always get a few bucks for an old modem when a faster model comes out.
7. A modem doesn't mind if you call another modem.
8. A virus you catch from your modem doesn't require a trip to the doctor.
9. You don't have to bring a modem home to meet your parents. If an error occurs, Abort, Retry or Fail are the only options you have to worry about.
10. Modems come with an instruction manual. Modems have a volume control - you can even turn the sound OFF.
2. When you're done using your modem, you can roll over and go to sleep without feeling guilty.
3. A modem won't say a word if you come home late.
4. A modem can't collect alimony if you decide to dump it.
5. A modem will always wait patiently by the phone.
6. You can always get a few bucks for an old modem when a faster model comes out.
7. A modem doesn't mind if you call another modem.
8. A virus you catch from your modem doesn't require a trip to the doctor.
9. You don't have to bring a modem home to meet your parents. If an error occurs, Abort, Retry or Fail are the only options you have to worry about.
10. Modems come with an instruction manual. Modems have a volume control - you can even turn the sound OFF.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Japan Fast But India Very Very Fast
There was a Japanese who went to India for sightseeing. On the last day, he hired a cab and told the driver to drive to the Airport.During the journey, a Honda drove past the taxi. Thereupon, the man leaned out of the window excitedly and yelled, “Honda, very fast! Made in Japan !!!.
After a while, a Toyota sped past the taxi and again the Japanese man leaned out of the window and yelled, “Toyota, very fast! Made in Japan!” And then a Mitsubishi sped past the taxi. For the third time, the Japanese leaned out of the window and yelled, “Mitsubishi, very fast! Made in Japan!”
The driver was a little angry, but he kept quiet. And this went on for quite a number of cars.
Finally, the taxi came to the airport. The fare was 800 rupees. !!!!
The Japanese exclaimed, “What??… so expensive!” There upon, the driver yelled back, “Meter, Made in India VERY VERY FAST !!!!!
After a while, a Toyota sped past the taxi and again the Japanese man leaned out of the window and yelled, “Toyota, very fast! Made in Japan!” And then a Mitsubishi sped past the taxi. For the third time, the Japanese leaned out of the window and yelled, “Mitsubishi, very fast! Made in Japan!”
The driver was a little angry, but he kept quiet. And this went on for quite a number of cars.
Finally, the taxi came to the airport. The fare was 800 rupees. !!!!
The Japanese exclaimed, “What??… so expensive!” There upon, the driver yelled back, “Meter, Made in India VERY VERY FAST !!!!!
WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED
WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:
Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too sicky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. !
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks.. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes!
No wonder men are happier.
Send this to the women who can handle it and to the men who will enjoy reading it
Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too sicky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. !
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks.. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes!
No wonder men are happier.
Send this to the women who can handle it and to the men who will enjoy reading it
Shopping Lover
Shopping is often regarded as an expensive affair. Without purchasing ability, all the exquisite designer labels like Gucci and Versace will not be in your wardrobe. While excessive buying will lead to bankruptcy. When was the last time you went out shopping? What was the one thing you couldn’t resist and still bought even though it was way over your budget?
In the movie “Confessions of a Shopaholic”, the protagonist knew how to shop smart but in spite of that she had over the top credit card bills and in the end she held an auction of all the items she bought to pay back. No one wants this to happen! What to Do?
Firstly, the most important thing to keep in mind is to always remember to shop within your budget. Suppose you have to go for a party and you need a dress. The dress you bought was a LBD from a well-known designer house and to accessorize it you need shoes, clutch and some matching jewelry. To maintain your budget try to get the accessories within your limit or under discounts. Try to use your credit card for purchases well within your limit and for emergency cases only.
Secondly, another important step to control your budget is by controlling your shopping crave and sticking to the shopping list. Many a times we go and just because there’s a discount offer, you buy stuffs you don’t even need. This ultimately leads to money wastage and also the wastage of your storage space.
Finally, try to use your credit card for minimum purchasing value. By doing so, you can easily control your monetary transactions. Ask someone to accompany you to the store for shopping and to remind you of bankruptcy.
The basic technique to control your spendthrift nature is to look fabulous but procure with brains. Smart buyers will not only shop endless but will still keep a check on their credit card bills. Shop last and shop smart!
In the movie “Confessions of a Shopaholic”, the protagonist knew how to shop smart but in spite of that she had over the top credit card bills and in the end she held an auction of all the items she bought to pay back. No one wants this to happen! What to Do?
Firstly, the most important thing to keep in mind is to always remember to shop within your budget. Suppose you have to go for a party and you need a dress. The dress you bought was a LBD from a well-known designer house and to accessorize it you need shoes, clutch and some matching jewelry. To maintain your budget try to get the accessories within your limit or under discounts. Try to use your credit card for purchases well within your limit and for emergency cases only.
Secondly, another important step to control your budget is by controlling your shopping crave and sticking to the shopping list. Many a times we go and just because there’s a discount offer, you buy stuffs you don’t even need. This ultimately leads to money wastage and also the wastage of your storage space.
Finally, try to use your credit card for minimum purchasing value. By doing so, you can easily control your monetary transactions. Ask someone to accompany you to the store for shopping and to remind you of bankruptcy.
The basic technique to control your spendthrift nature is to look fabulous but procure with brains. Smart buyers will not only shop endless but will still keep a check on their credit card bills. Shop last and shop smart!
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